Saturday, November 25, 2006

i cant believe i just did that. lets see. 3 ticket stubs. 70 bucks worth of neoprints including the one i had nice dyed hair and 2 nicely decorated cards. man. i feel like crying le. i know i sound like i m really cheery about it but i m not. i m just trying to comfort myself. when i cut thru the giant neoprint, it was so painful la. but didnt like it much anyway haha. it distorted my hair. but still. feeling darn sad and everything la, but thinking about it, its better la, cus i look at the prints, i ll sure keep thinking of the past one. and stupid liverpool still cant score. home game. mind you.

oh wells. sigh. just feels so depressing. really wanna thank all the people for hanging out with me today. the guys hu played soccer with me in the morning. heh. nothing beats smashing the ball low straight at the keeper sometimes. boom! he helped it to the top corner for me. yar. den matt and kevin, lol, we sneaked into rtc to shower. den went vivo city for lunch. gawd that place is huge. den went for service with matt. i think without the company today i would have just felt rotten and lonely. owe u guys big time. thanks to john for talking to me too. sort of a good reality check la. heh. ur getting better at this sort of talks.

also quite confused now la. shud i stay or shud i go. is that some song lyric? anyway. yar. its like, i wanna stay cus i love this cell, i m placed around people hu are close to me in culture, the barker guys, people from my school, the pjc people and loads of sec 4s who are nice to be around, and i have a great mentor. and i just really felt i wanted to build myself up around these people. but on the other hand, until the day when it no longer hurts, everytime i see her, it ll just feel painful, i m a sentimental person, i dun move on so easily, whether it seems like it or not and i sort of dunno how to face my cell leader after everything anymore. i m sorry i lied to u guys. guess i was just running away from it all along. thinking i was iron man and i was gonna shake off the problems i had. guess i all became my undoing.

situation at home isnt really good. i m fine with my dad, but just this resentful feeling towards my mom, cus i cant really accept the way shes treating me. i m sorry. i know i shouldnt be feeling this way cus i was the one really at fault. oh yes. just to the rest of the world. i m officially not attached, so no more teasing me cus i m sure u know hu she is. its more obvious den a giraffe standing among zebras. ok. that didnt link too well. u got the picture right. yar. just dun remind me of the pain i m feeling now.

ok. now that i m done complaining how painful it is, i shall complain even more. nah. just kidding. oh wells. i just feel rather unsure and really dun feel like doing anything at all right now. nevertheless, i guess my dad was right la, its really time to build character, self control, patience, etc. I just really wanna go under the presence of God and cry, cus i know God, u r my comforter. i just pray u ll bring healing to this emotional scar of mine.

time apart will do us good la. at least we ll get our focus back on God ya, heh, next time, next time den see la. just wanna remind u that ur coursework shud be done from the start of the year. ask ur friggin teacher if u dun understand math and chem. learn how to tidy ur own room. please stop being late for appointments and usher duties and quit ur tuition centre job if it takes up alot of ur time, and yes exercise so u can stop complaining ur getting fat. stay focused on God and ur studies, stay happy, and all the best for the ethnic design thingy u wanted to do. really take care of urself and God bless!

yups. i think the half time break shud be over. anyone wanna talk and comfort me, i ll take it. haha. and ur one cunning bugger man, deleted our blog before me, haha, i wanted to read all the entries and feel some pain before deleting it, and i never ever got the wallet, belt and slippers promised me since june. hahahah. ok la. back to soccer and cheers to a good night sleep.

|cowpoo| 11:07 PM|

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